August 21, 2008

What's wrong with me?

I've been particularly weepy today. It's very odd. I haven't been this way in years. Two events stick out in my mind:

1) I'm enjoying the music during the "worship" portion of Recovery at The Village (if you don't have plans on a Thursday night, you have to come!). I'm singing "Be My Everything" except we're at the part where you switch the words to "Jesus Everything" over and over again. My heart sank, my skin tingled and I felt the Holy Spirit was so close. I found myself crying out and pleading within my heart that He would be everything to me. Overwhelmed....

2) Looking at random blogs, I came across a few pictures of a dad and his little girl when she was about to leave for school. The joy and love in the pictures were so apparent, instantly everything in me longed to be the one holding the camera with my own family. It's a funny thing....I really have such a peace about God's timing for that step in my life. Then, out of nowhere, He throws me a whammy like that and it gets my heart to hurting all over again.

Don't misunderstand me, though. It's a FANTASTIC ache to have. This is not the ache that turns into self-pity, discontentment and bitterness. It spurs me on, gives me hope, and excites me in a way that makes today so sweet. I guess that may not make sense. It does to me and that's all that really matters :)

So, being weepy. Not such a bad thing, I guess. I may be able to blame Recovery at The Village for this most recent revival of emotion. The Lord knows I've been tough to crack but it's working....

thank you Jesus.....

**EDIT 8-22-08: Add the following to the list of things that make me weepy. It would take me far too long to explain where it came from, but I can tell you that it is a sign of a faith that I pray for DAILY.

"I think that my Jesus is the same as He was before I walked into this room."**

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